React or Respond?

When things don't work out the way I thought they would, or when something happens to change my plans I find myself reacting. I am totally focussed on myself and how inconvenienced I am, or on my own irritation. I have lost sight of everything that is important and instead chosen to see the situation with a very narrow vision.
1 Peter 1:13-15 speaks of the approach we must take if we are going to choose to respond instead of react:

So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”

I'm challenging myself to try to see situations through God's eyes, not my own self-centered view and to choose to put these words from 1 Peter into practice.

Find a great post here about responding and not reacting with the Help of the Holy Spirit.
talked on air Thur about the differences in focus between reacting (self focus) and responding (others focus)

Friendship

Beware of isolation; beware of the idea that you have to develop a holy life alone. It is impossible to develop a holy life alone; you will develop into an oddity and a peculiarism, into something utterly unlike what God wants you to be. The only way to develop spiritually is to go into the society of God’s own children, and you will soon find how God alters your set. God does not contradict our social instincts; He alters them. -Oswald Chambers  Biblical Psychology

Being a better friend means giving of yourself, making your focus outside of just your concerns
Examine your transparency: are you showing your true self?
Examine you trust level: are you being open and willing to trust someone else?

Pyschology Today has these tips in two articles
Ways to make a friend:
Ways to maintain friendships

Renewed

*This is a repost from last year, but it is so relevant today. I needed this reminder!*

Our attitude is so important as we remain in Christ, but it can be so easy to let things get us down.  We can be refreshed and renewed as we follow Jesus.

22 throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. 23 Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. 24 You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness -- righteous, holy, and true. Ephesians 4:22-24 New Living Translation

Another translation gives more insight.

Be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind (having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude)Ephesians 4:23 Amplified

As we consistently turn away from our old ways and choose Christ, we can be renewed over and over again- constantly. I don't know about you, but some days I feel like I need renewal moment by moment. Sometimes I forget that I can turn to Jesus for refreshing.

Ways we can be renewed by the Spirit:

• Bible reading, even re-reading favorite passages
• Worship music- help turn thoughts toward how great God is
• Poetry, devotions, observations from other Christians
• Gratitude- take stock of the blessings I see around me
• Praying for others-
• Doing something nice, smiling at someone, giving someone a gift for no reason
• Being creative, make something for someone, even if it is just a simple thing
• Read an inspiring book, choose one that lifts your sights, not just gives you an escape

Photo by Kira Stevens

Joyful, Wise People

Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in His paths
Psalm 119:1-3
We can all think of people who have made a choice to do the right thing, even though they had to go against the flow. They may have even had people turn against them, and they still stuck with their decision to live a life of integrity. Those kinds of choices may not always be easy, but they bring the joy and peace of knowing you are doing the right thing.

How joyful are those who fear the Lord- all who follow his ways! Psalm 128:1
God has plans for His creation and His ways are above ours. Following His way is the way to joy.

Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

We can google just about anything, we can know a lot about many topics, but that is not real wisdom. We can have multiple college degrees, PhDs work specialties,  and all kinds of expertise, but true wisdom starts with a reverence for God; being in awe of who He is.

Home Help: Attitude

Our homes can be a refuge for us in a world of chaos, or we can allow things at home to be chaotic too. It is a lifelong goal of mine to constantly be working on making my home a refuge for my family. I love the perspective on Like Mothers, Like Daughters about meals and laundry. Leila writes,  “if you have a handle on these two areas -- if you have serenity when contemplating dinner or the washing machine -- you will be rational in your approach to all other areas of your life: losing weight, saving money, cleaning up, using your time well, loving your family more, having reading time with your kids, teaching them Latin, you name it! It will all go better if you have order in these two fundamental duties.” She goes on to say that our inevitable stumbles in other areas won’t be as devastating if we have a little peace in these areas, which I find to be very true. 

In so many areas of life attitude is everything, Leila writes “Look at it this way: if you had the profession of managing, say, a hotel, you would be darn sure that first and foremost you had a plan, a system, and a clear idea of how you would provide food, clean sheets, and a warm atmosphere for your customers. You would not whine. You would pat yourself on the back for having such a great career! If you did not do this, you would be -- fired!” There have been many times that I should’ve been “fired” due to my laziness in the area of working to make my home a place my family enjoyed spending time! God is continually working in my heart to make my priorities line up better with His priorities. Keeping Him in first place is obviously more important that a spotlessly clean house, but I can glorify Him if I have a good attitude about serving wherever He places me. 

Home Help: Laundry

There are some household tasks that bring a moment of peace. I can find some measure of this with my hands in warm water, washing dishes, or vacuuming. I know everyone feels differently about various household duties, but putting away laundry is not one that brings joy to my heart.

A friend very simply adjusted my perspective once while I was complaining about the dreaded laundry when she asked, "but you're thankful for clothes to wash and a washing machine, right?"

Ouch- I hadn't thought about being thankful for those things! I can't imagine not having clean clothing for my children to wear.

One of the laundry tips from Like Mother, Like Daughter is simple too, "have fewer clothes." I know that my closet would benefit from a purging! 

Another thing that helps bring order to laundry issues is having a plan of attack. If you find yourself surrounded by piles of laundry then you may need to change something about your process. 

This is how I changed my process to help cut down on the piles of laundry: 

1. I identified the problem. My problem was piles of clean laundry getting wrinkled but not put away.

2. I made a small change. I promised myself that I would fold the dry clothes right away in order to empty the dryer for another load of clothes. (The overall goal is to put the folded clothes away immediately, but honestly that doesn't happen all the time! It is easier to grab a pile of folded clothes as I walk by and get it put away than if the pile was a jumble of wrinkled clothes in a laundry basket.)

My attitude toward tasks I find boring or distasteful can make all the difference in the world. I can choose to consider the mundane tasks a joy and an offering of worship to my God. I think with continued practice this choice can become more of a habit. 

Enjoy the journey....

photo by Kira Stevens

The holidays seemed to rush by and here we are about to go into the second week of the new year. I still feel like I am in catch-up mode from December. If you have listened to KFEX during weekdays you may have caught Corrie and I on the radio sharing organization tips and encouragement. It all seems easy enough to do when you talk about it but it never fails that even our best laid plans start getting undone by something we didn't anticipate. I have asked about peoples' New Year resolutions, where they are in keeping them, some have already been derailed by this thing we call life. :)  Our focus gets on an end result and we try to rush through the steps to get to the end, like we have a built in fast-forward button. Well, I was reading a devotional and it dealt with this mindset. It spoke of how one of the ways God can assert His sovereignty is through His timing of events. That if one wants to move closer to Him and do things His way, we need to ask Him to show us the path forward moment by moment instead of rushing headlong towards the end. Slowing down, we are able to fully enjoy His presence in the journey. This spoke greatly to me. There are so many things in life that would be less fulfilling if we rushed it. Pregnancy: feeling that child move and grow. Children: watching them learn and become individuals. Marriage: becoming one through experiences together. I also realized that the moments along the pathway teach and prepare us for the fullness in the end.
When my children were young people would say that they grow up fast and then they are gone! When I was wiping one end or the other, eating cold meals, running without sleep...that idea seemed so foreign. I am now an empty nester and it was true, they grew and were gone so quickly. I am thankful for the moments along the way where I knew I was in that with them and I didn't miss them growing up. I enjoyed the journey. Now, in this chapter of my life, I hope that I do not get caught up in deadlines or schedules and miss moments with God that let me experience Him in my life. Because without Him, it is impossible to face the journey <3

Home Help: Meal Planning

Meal planning is one simple step that will help you create a great atmosphere at home for your family. You don't even have to have meal planning mastered to improve dinner time and the stress of figuring out what to feed the hungry people in your house. I've heard it said that you should know what you're serving your family for dinner by 10am. It really helps me if I am not rushing around at 5 or 6 wondering what's for dinner. So you may not have a 12 month long meal plan lined out, as long as you know in the morning what you're family will be eating for dinner that evening, you're off to a good start!


This piece of advice also shows up in one of my favorite blogs; Like Mother, Like Daughter in the post about beginning the journey towards being more organized in the kitchen. Leila writes that meal planning doesn't have to be you wracking your brain every week for menu plans. She suggests you get everyone involved in the planning,  "once and for all, you all brainstorm together and create a Master Menu List. Then you use that to make your weekly or monthly lists." 
Another tip from Leila is to categorize menus; make a menu that is full of meal ideas that are less expensive and create a menu full of more extravagant ideas. She also suggests incorporating some of your favorite restaurant style meals. At our house we like to look up copycat recipes online from our favorite restaurants. Then we like to "judge" the finished meal to see if it really measures up to the restaurant!

I do think there comes a time when a mom or dad needs to work to improve the standards of what the kids want to eat. So if you ask your family for input and they all ask for ice cream and french fries for every meal you may need to try some healthier meals that may or may not always work. Here are some ideas from the Wichita Eagle for healthy eating:
Research backs up these 10 ideas for getting your kids to eat their veggies: from the Wichita Eagle